Chisme

Chisme are two-hundred-word-or-fewer mentions about goings-on in Miami. Like the city itself, they can be sordid, sincere, or both.

Report to us with Local Characters, New Attachments, Old Wounds, Unspeakable Truths, Poorly-Kept Secrets, Premonitions, Parties, Winds of Change, Hotspots, Forgotten Spots, Scams, Schemes, Shocking Sights, Inside Scoops, Openings, Closings, Feuds, Thoughtful Reviews, Thoughtless Encounters, Favorite Brands, Objects of Desire…

Anonymity optional. Our favorite submissions will be featured in print.

Submit gossip
What Are Children For? What our Editor-in-Chief is Reading
Highbrow

Yes, the national trends do reach us all the way down here in Miami. They arrive a little garbled, by the cultural distance: like the sound inside a sea shell, when you hold it up to your ear, but the shell is a phone and the sound is a call coming from somewhere in New York or San Francisco. Obviously Miami is a city so fertile that a woman can get pregnant here if a man so much as looks at her wrong. But even in Miami we can’t miss it, the whole concerning fact that most of the country seems not exactly sure if they should have children, or why anyone ever did have children in the first place. (Related trend: all the “emotional support dogs”). What are Children For? is the book you should be reading, if you’ve ever thought about having kids, or telling your Catholic grandparents you will not be having kids, or whether your body decided it wanted to have kids all on its own one day and poof you woke up pregnant — oh, that is, after unprotected sex. In lucid and moving prose, Anastasia Berg and Rachel Wiseman lay out the whole debate for you: the variables; the idealism and ambivalence; the considerations and myths; the modern pressure to find your-self; (d)evolutions in romance; the stories told about parenthood, by novelists and theorists (essential reading!), and the ones told about the apocalypse, too. They touch on real fears about the climate and also what a convenient excuse it has become to stop finding hope or meaning. What Are Children For? reminds us that every choice is an essential invitation for serious thinking — and that when it comes down to it, all of us affirm life anyways with every breath. This is not your mother’s propaganda. It’s the best — and most urgent — non-fiction I’ve read all year.

GSC
DJ Algebra
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Apparently one of your favorite Miami DJs is actually a math teacher by day at a prestigious high school here in Miami. It’s like Clark Kent, but he raves.

interesada
Nosotras Supper Club
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The Miami Women’s Circle and Supper Club launched earlier this year. Founded by Miami Native Alessandra Cruz, @nosotrasmiami is the child of the union of everything she loves — flowers, candles, deep conversations, and community. She hosts these dinners and circles in her own backyard; many mythical creatures are in attendance, including feminine creators and healers. Dinner, duh, is prepared by a chef. Visit www.nosotrasmiami.com for details.

Your local bruja
PMS is so 2023
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Stop living like a man! We are living in a hormonal epidemic because we have been so disconnected from our own bodies and cycles. Men, operating within the 24 hour circadian rhythm cycle, can stick to their routines like clockwork: working out in the AM, going to the office, eating whatever they want, having happy hour at 5pm, and crawling into their man caves at night. Women function according to the infradian rhythm, which is controlled by the four phases of our menstrual cycle. Ignoring this internal clock, like we’ve been doing for so long, is the root cause of hormonal imbalances, symptoms, and all kinds of conditions which are deemed “normal” but really aren’t. I’ve noticed such a change since adding cycle syncing to my wellness routine, and the Hormone Sync from @guutlife, a Miami-based herbal supplement brand, focuses on hormone balancing from the root. Let’s heal so we can thrive — on our own schedules.

Pachamama
Historic Moore Building
Highbrow

The Moore in the Miami Design District — built during the 1920’s Florida Land Boom — is set to reopen, complete with a private members club, boutique hotel, executive offices, and gallery space. Elastika (@elastikamiami) restaurant debuted in the spring, led by Executive Chef Joe Anthony. The idea is for the first floor of The Moore to function as the spiritual lobby of the Design District, given its century-long influence over the development and design of the surrounding area. Check out @themooremiami for more updates.

cultured chismosa
Talk Story
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Folklore — up for interpretation at this summer’s Talk Story — is a live storytelling event taking place at Savage Labs in Wynwood on June 27th from 7-10pm. Each month is themed, with storytellers chosen and coached to create a unique, authentic evening full of culture, community, y tremendo chisme. June’s theme is folklore, and there’s nothing quite like the families in our city — the lore and legends of our abuelas and bisabuelas. Anything goes, but we want more truth than fiction. DM @bianca.gonz or @8buhos on instagram with any questions, brought to you by Bianca, Polo, and @findtheclick_.

chismosa
Storytelling to Honor People and the Planet
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Solar (@solarcstudio) is a Miami-based creative comms studio harnessing the power of storytelling to build lasting legacies, foster meaningful connections, amplify positive impact, and drive sustainable growth. With a special focus on purpose-driven clients, services are tailor-made to fit your needs. Reach out to founder Salomé Gómez-Upegui (@salomegomezu) for copywriting projects, editorial initiatives, brand development, and all things communication & content strategy. She recently launched Reflections, a podcast about some of the most pressing issues of our time, featuring conversations with writers, artists, entrepreneurs, activists, and all sorts of trailblazing thinkers using their creative gifts in service of humanity and our planet.

fulanita
Pulse: Grey’s Anatomy x Jackson Hospital
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Netflix is finally coming out with its own medical drama and the setting is Miami’s busiest Level 1 Trauma Center. Young ER doctor Dani Simms (Willa Fitzgerald) is unexpectedly promoted to Chief Resident while a slew of new characters make their way down to sunny south Florida — for the hospital’s excellent trauma program of course. I’ll be waiting patiently for the Grey Sloan Memorial crossover. Viewing party at Riverset?

still mourning McDreamy
Chef Felipe González
Highbrow

In Miami, it’s easy to feel lost in translation with so many people coming and going — so much going, going, going. But the benefit is that there’s a nonstop cultural exchange that feels more alive than ever, fueled by amazing creators that find, in this city, the perfect place to fulfill their dreams. To stand out here requires talent, a spark, sazón. Take Felipe González, whose cooking comes from a genuine expression of his soul and his desire to share with others what makes his heart feel alive. Felipe always mentions the synesthetic experience that cooking is for him– yes, Felipe has the ability to savor the food he cooks with his hands and to taste its flavors through the colors of the ingredients he uses. This creative phenomenon then transfers to the table, along with an explosion of flavors. Because if we have learned anything by eating his food, it is that chefs like him are artists too.

Carolina Ribon
Cada Consult Retreats
Highbrow

CADA Culture, a new well-being company from the gorgeous (inside-and-out) sister duo behind Cada CONSULT, is launching its new Blissful Balance Retreats, hosted at the PGA National Resort at Palm Beach Gardens and Belmond Maroma Resort and Spa at Riviera Maya, Mexico. At the former, their all-inclusive retreat comprises unique spa treatments, exciting sports activities such as Golf and Tennis Clinics from USPTA professionals, and one-of-a-kind dining experiences. At the latter, intention-setting workshops, master chef cooking classes, and natural excursions permit individuals and teams to explore a world where wellness, craft, and gastronomy live in harmony with the surrounding nature of the Yucatán. For corporations or individuals, the goal is personal growth and well-being.

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Plan A Perfect Summer Day at PAMM
Highbrow

Upcoming summer exhibitions include Calida Rawles: Away with the Tides on view June 27th. June 13th marked the start of a groundbreaking survey of contemporary American Latino and Indigenous Latino art at Pamm. Xican-a.o,ox Body is the first exhibition focused on the conceptual and performative practices of Xicanx art and the Chicano movement. Enjoy some art and A/C followed by some champagne and bites at Verde.

hot and artsy
Who Made Everything Gray?
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Miami needs to stop renovating with gray laminate floors. ENOUGH. It’s horrible. I’m apartment shopping and it’s appalling. Something must be done, before it’s too late. If we’re going to end up underwater, let’s at least give the snorkelers something nice to see.

frustrated fulanita
Kaori Listening Bar
Highbrow

A little birdie told me Kaori is switching things up, opening a new Hi-Fi vinyl listening bar. It’s the perfect date spot; a sensual, effortless ambiance to project anything but try-hard energy with bites that will melt in your mouth. Music and bookings are curated by their Music Director, Ari, a Miami native and DJ (@arrisan). Move over old school Miami, the young local talent is coming in hot.

Tikitikipapi
Sake Sake Sake-Mart
Highbrow

Right in front of Planet Fitness, in that sweet spot between Calle Ocho and Brickell, is your new favorite Korean supermarket. Stop binge-watching ramen mukbangs online and get your fix with the real thing at Asian-Mart. They have a ramen station, K-pop blasting on the speakers, and a boba bar in the back. Get your green papayas for salad at home and stop ordering take out for once in your life. No excuses!

fulano
Hialeah’s Giving Euro Summer
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I have more fun at Factory Town than I do in Ibiza. Last time I was there, I had this cannabis-infused Molinga Yerba Mate that was incredible. It's been popping off since Miami Music Week.

tikitikimami
Miami Art Hang
Highbrow

Former Guggenheim Museum Education Manager Veronica Pesantes recently launched “Art Hang" to help locals and visitors engage with Miami’s vibrant art scene. Veronica believes art makes a difference in our lives by challenging and expanding the way we see the world so she curates and facilitates private tours that deepen our understanding of art and build community. Often a group happy hour at a local bar concludes the experience, as everyone wants more time to connect and network. In our oversaturated lives, carving out time to see art and keeping up with everything that is happening in Miami can be difficult. Art Hang makes it easy– just show up and soak in some afternoon culture. The first three experiences sold out, proving that folks in Miami are down for more than raves and rosé all day, but as a reader of The Miami Native you knew that already! A sample itinerary includes a guided tour of a museum, followed by gallery and studio visits to meet Miami's emerging artists. Pesantes teaches Art History and writes and lectures about culture at large. Aside from visiting galleries and museums weekly, she devours books, reviews and any articles that come her way about the arts. While witnessing people rush through a museum exhibit, her inner art educator led her to launch Art Hang to bridge the gap between the often insular art world and the public. For more details and dates please check out @miamiarthang or @vero_santes. DM for private group rates if you are visiting, and if you live in Miami-Dade come join our groups of like-minded people.

art-hungry
North Miami or 16th Century Istanbul?
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Hürrem Hammam is the first authentic Turkish hammam in the country (Miami has its priorities straight). It’s 20,000 square feet of transportive luxury inspired by the Ottoman Empire (Marble! Hand-carved doors! Domed ceilings!) and its steamiest love story, that of slave-girl turned powerful sultana Hürrem and the Sultan she won over with her beauty. Listen, things are getting desperate over here and we’ll follow her hammam regimen no problem: monthly memberships and day packages provide access to various saunas and steam rooms, salt rooms and hydromassage pools, and treatments include spice rituals, massages, full-body exfoliation, ancient wraps and scrubs, facials, and more.

hammami
Head Heaven
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Have you ever booked a haircut just so someone would spend time scrubbing and massaging your scalp during the wash? Can’t just be me. There is finally (the concept has been around for 3000 years) a headspa in Miami that you have to book months in advance. When I got to my appointment, a well- known local influencer was leaving hers. Doesn’t recording the entire process take away from what’s supposed to be an Ayurvedic disconnect? Who am I to judge — bring out the tripods and get to work ladies! The best part about @headspamiami is that the women providing the service actually have hairdressing backgrounds, which means you’re leaving your session with a stunning blowout, not a greasy mess. Oh, and tell Damy we sent you. ;)

fulana
West Kendall Yoga Gem
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Buddhaful OM Yoga has transitioned owners, and I’m not gatekeeping this one any longer. After attempting almost every glitzy studio east of the Gables, I wanted somewhere that was non-intimidating, with a soul. It has been my favorite studio for over a decade, home to a beautiful community that feels like a family, an actual family, because it’s made up of real people of all ages and sizes. You can find the studio nestled in a small warehouse in West Kendall, because that’s how far it takes to get away from the influencers filming their flows. Ruben Rodriguez (@purpose305), Miami Native and new owner, is one of the best yoga teachers I’ve had the chance to practice with. His Dynamic Flow and Power Fusion classes bring reggaeton and rock and roll to the mat, which makes it surprisingly perfect to dance through challenging transitions. The classes last anywhere from an hour to two, depending on the vibe. What I particularly love about this extra time is the chance to practice and develop my inversion practice, you know being upside down and what not (amazing for circulation, balance, immunity etc). I’ve been able to do things I never thought were possible for my body and always have a blast while doing so. The Candlelit Yin is another favorite, a must try for anyone who wants the benefits without the movement, no literally like you don’t need to move.

Cuban yogi
Wedding Tea
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Are brides being gaslit into weddings they can’t afford? Apparently some highly sought-after planners are more than willing to push you beyond your wedding budget as long as it means executing their vision. If you’re in the Miami bridal world I’m sure you know exactly who I’m talking about. Let’s just say the brides are in too deep and the tears are flowing.

Mrs. Fulana
SIMÓN on Netflix
Highbrow

Huge deal: our new favorite film, SIMÓN, got acquired by Netflix US and will be available to stream June 1st. After leaving Venezuela in 2009, Diego Vicentini came to Miami where he studied at Gulliver Prep, followed by Film School in LA. His new film tells the story of Simón, a young Venezuelan protester who flees to Miami after being arrested and tortured, debating whether to go back or stay safe and seek asylum. What began as a short film and thesis for Vicentini’s degree has turned into an award-winning feature film, sweeping the Venezuelan Film Festival. SIMÓN was also nominated for Best Ibero-American Film at the Goya Awards and Best Debut at the Platino Awards. It has been out on Netflix Latin America & Spain, reaching the Top 10 globally at #6 with over a million and a half views. Now you can watch it on your couch without ever leaving home, perezosa.

film obsessed fulano
Baby Botox
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Miami It Girls always boast an impeccable face card and carefully curated self-care rituals. But apart from winning the genetic lottery, of course, they look as good as they do thanks to their go-to treatments of the season. Like: monthly custom facials, fillers for facial balancing, and, you guessed it, Botox. Whether it's Baby Botox, trap tox, or any other variation, Botox reigns supreme and they’re going to ALEXIS LAUREN in the Gables to get it done. Maybe they’re born with it, but most likely they’re paying for it!

baby face you wish
OJO
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I’m leaving girls' night in The Grove and order my Uber home to Miami Shores. A woman picks me up, which typically eases my paranoia. I share my trip with my friends. Next thing I know I’m at the airport. I ask her why we are pulling into Departures and she stays quiet. I ask a second time. Quiet. I manually unlock the car and jump out sprinting towards the terminal. She chases me down, lowers the window, and shouts, “Get back in the car! I’m a mom, you’re safe!” I wasn’t born yesterday; this is Miami; people have been trying to kidnap me since I was five.

freaked out fulana
Cójelo Con Take It Easy
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When you have a good night’s sleep, it makes your co-workers more pleasant. That’s where Vital Tonics comes in. It’s CBD you can trust because it was founded by one of our own, Natalie Bustamante (@Natyinthekitchen). I personally cannot live without The Tonic which I keep on hand at all times and add to every cup of coffee I drink. Because let’s face it — giving up cafecito is just not in the cards for me. It’s the only CBD I’ve ever felt truly work. The results are instant. Swap abuelita’s Xanax for the Night Capsules, which are so much better than melatonin, no demons at 3am (if you know, you know). When reaching out to Naty about her best sellers, she confided in me that clients keep eating the CBD dog treats and she doesn’t know what to do about that. Safe to say we’re all obsessed.

inflamed fulana
MOE Market
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Every so often MOE Market curates the dreamiest Saturday where local creatives get together to shop and catch-up. Compared to most farmers’ markets, MOE provides an air conditioned, indoor-outdoor experience with sweet treats to keep you cool. You’ll find a stunning collection of clothing, original and vintage, as well as home decor. Vendors change, but the vibe remains immaculate each and every time. For those who don’t know, MOE is a lifestyle studio space founded by Miami-based content creator, @ironsalt.

Moe Mami
Private School Influx
Highbrow

New York billionaires have been bribing Ransom, Carrollton, and Gulliver to secure spots for their own children, plus the offspring of their inner circle. Gulliver costs $47,600 a year right now; Ransom $49,250. Let that sink in, but don’t worry: London and New York are coming together to open new private schools in the next two years. Let’s see what they bring in…and how much it costs.

Retired Raider
Havana, Florida
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After 57 years, Cuba is returning to the Miss Universe competition. Here’s the catch: Miss Universe Cuba will be crowned in Miami, in August, from 20 candidates — auditions are ongoing. Candidates must “speak Spanish well” and have at least one Cuban parent. There’s no age-limit, which means your abuela can try out, technically. And mine.

Miss Kendall
Bezos at BeyBey
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We were enjoying a bottle of orange wine at Café Du Bey when a girlfriend and I stumbled into club territory to use the restroom at the neighboring restaurant. The line was long and when it was finally our turn a security detail escorted an older, bald, extremely rich man to cut us in line. When we got back to our table we found out Tom Brady was there with him.

can i be your sugarbeybey
‘Oca Private Chef
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Imagine winding down after a long day of whatever it is you do (do you do anything?) while a Private Chef creates a 5-7 course tasting menu in your kitchen. Miami Native Victoria Dell’Oca has worked in Michelin-starred kitchens around the world and is now bringing a curated experience straight to your door. If you live to eat but struggle to make the time during the week, she also offers a weekly meal prep service as well as a catering service for small events with a customized menu. Her focus is on highlighting locally-sourced ingredients to bring you an unforgettable dining experience. Check out @ofthegoose to learn more. You’re welcome.

comelona
Fútbol, Finally!
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No matter what team you usually root for, we all enjoyed watching the 2015 treble-winning Barcelona team — one of the most exciting teams to watch, led by the infamous MSN (Messi, Suarez & Neymar). A treble is when a football team wins three major trophies in a single season. As someone that grew up in Miami watching them from afar, I always dreamed of moving to Barcelona for at least a year to be able to watch them play in person. That dream never happened, and now, a few years later, it’s a bit surreal to see that same dream team playing in our backyard — well, almost. Messi, Suarez, Busquets and Jordi Alba were all key players for that infamous team and now they’re playing for Inter Miami CF. We're only missing Neymar. We’re waiting for you baby.

fanática
Pink Glass Houses
Highbrow

The chisme is piping hot in Asha Elias’ debut novel Pink Glass Houses. Public shaming, gossip, and mean girls last long beyond your high school days in Miami. Snakes are ever underfoot and try as you might to stay alert, there’s enough skin, luxury, and rosé to disarm and disorient you regardless. As a mother raising children in Miami Beach, Elias is the first to point the finger at some undesirable, and shockingly real, characters. Written in the shifting points of view of different moms at an elite elementary school in Miami Beach, this is a story about toxic PTA moms, their power and privilege, and the Pink Glass Houses they simultaneously host from and hide in. Melody is the new, naive arrival to Sunset Academy and it doesn’t take long for her to realize she is truly not in Kansas anymore. She quickly falls prey to the classic traps natives are sure to spot and steer clear from — committing the cardinal sin of feeling safe enough to talk shit among two new “friends.” Be on the lookout for the book’s arrival this July. It’s the perfect vacation novel!

Bookworm Chismosa
Hiding in Plain Sight
Highbrow

A staid, middle-aged “couple” enjoying local jazz at Pérez Art Museum Miami may have been more exciting than they looked. He invited her to come home with him after the show. She remained silent. Then he raised his eyebrows and came out with it: “Yeah, your husband wouldn’t like that right?” My question is why PAMM for an affair? It’s not that lowkey.

fulanita's prima
Flagler Vintage
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​​Don’t give back your boyfriend’s graphic tees — just have him buy more. Flagler Vintage (formerly West Brickle Vintage, run out of a revamped school bus) is a hot spot for vintage y2k fits so good you’d think you were in the heart of Bushwick. The underground vibe doesn't just stop at retail. Flagler Vintage is a hyphenate creative space, with a black-box studio room and events like punk shows and drawing pop-ups by Raw Figs.

professional thrifty
Fake Flaca Frenzy
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Ozempic left Beverly Hills and made its way to our backyard. To each their own — we know this city loves a fast pass — but be careful. Side effects include increased fertility, leading to what is now being referred to as the Ozempic Baby Boom. Oh, and you’re not fooling anyone.

fulanita de tal
Date Night This Saturday on South Beach
Highbrow

“Vintage” comes a dime a dozen these days, but the sibling owners of Habitat Hyett in South Beach have entered the scene with a fresh take. Miamians are invited to celebrate Habitat Hyett’s one year anniversary on Saturday, June 1 from 6-9pm at 441 Lincoln Road. Open bar, DJ tunes, and vintage provided. Shop slinky gowns for the upcoming wedding season, designer button ups for your beau, or the perfect housewarming gift. Design aficionados will rejoice when noticing the iconic Rose Bar from The Delano Hotel has been refurbished and not forgotten, and bibliophiles can sleep easy knowing a place to purchase books has returned to Lincoln Road. Plan yourself a South Beach date night, as there is a parking garage behind the shop and we swear, the traffic isn’t that bad.

professional thrifty
It’s the Company You Keep
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We were 12 when Macki Bags took the city by storm. Who else dragged their mother to Paper Boutique in South Miami to get theirs? What began as a math class doodle for Miami Native artist, Macki Alvarez, quickly turned into a tween sensation. She has recently relaunched Macki and Co. digitally (@__macki) and we are living for the nostalgia. Girls become women so quickly here, it's nice to have an escape.

nostalgic millenial
World Premiere of Cantalupo's Gather 'Round, A Live Musical Experience
Highbrow

Join us for a candlelit jazz and sound bath immersive experience at The Sanctuary at MBCC, a 100 year-old church on Lincoln Road. Mark your calendars for this Saturday, May 11th from 8-10pm, presented in part by Tierra Santa | Faena. Tickets can be found through @gatherround.live or on EventBrite and range from $46-$120.

fulanito
Kolodny Art Studio & Gallery Comes to 25th Street
Highbrow

Shawn Kolodny is an artist based in Miami and New York. For the past 15 years, he has created large scale installations for cultural institutions and private residences around the world. Kolodny’s work explores the beauty and geometric synergies of the natural world, and our relationship to our innermost thoughts.

His signature, playful works made of reflective steel spheres capture the symmetry, volume and balance present in both nature and design. These spheres are placed together to create new forms that reflect the vibrant and dynamic nature of the world around us, and the impact of our ever-changing perspective. Kolodny’s site-specific and shapeshifting installations construct a kinetic and immersive environment for viewers, creating space for moments of mindfulness and self-reflection within their experience. Transcending the traditional boundaries of art, the artist creates new worlds with each installation, that are both fantastical and organic. His practice seeks to encourage viewers to engage with the world around them in more meaningful and imaginative ways, inspiring a childlike wonder.

Shawn Kolodny has opened his new studio and gallery space to the public. Swing by the gallery at 47 NE 25th Street from 12-5 Monday - Friday to see his works on display and interact with the artist.

fulano de tal
Summer Wardrobe Essentials
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Hola Hola! Last Friday I went to @villamelina_official’s launch event at MOE and left in AWE. You can tell the designer is from Miami because all of her clothes were super design-forward and perfect for hot weather. We all know August is going to come faster than we can blink and these sets are literally as comfy as sweat pants, yet stylish and light enough to wear out all day. The overall aesthetic of the brand is just…so Miami in the most elevated way. Check it out! Besos!

fulana who loves fashion
Supermarket Sunday, A Casual, Day-Long Event for Connection and Conversation
Highbrow

As their debut exhibition, Migración de Jarana, nears its close, Supermarket Gallery announces its first Supermarket Sunday. The goal of this recurring event is to give the public an opportunity to browse the exhibition and connect with the artist, as well as the gallery’s three founding members over their intentions for the gallery's future. At present, Migración de Jarana is set to close on Saturday, April 27th, 2024.

Supermarket Sunday will be taking place on Sunday, April 21st, from 12 pm to 7 pm at Fly Studio (7231 Biscayne Blvd, Miami, FL 33138). Come have a drink with us and talk about art!

fulanito de tal
We the Urban Art Exhibition, Family Friendly and Free to the Public
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Palmas de Luna is an interactive pop-up that encourages play through creation. Experience our pop-up art exhibition called “We the Urban” on April 19th from 7-10pm. It will be taking place in the heart of the Hialeah Art District at Unbranded Brewery Company inside of their "Pachanga Room”. The exhibition focuses on urban living in Miami through the eyes of the artists that live here. You will discover the underground Miami art scene, full of raw emotion and untold stories. Artists will showcase a perspective that only the city has revealed. Our goal is to create an accessible space for emerging artists to share their work publicly. We will have a range of media such as drawing, painting, photography, collage, diary entry, poetry, and mixed media. Come by and hang out!

fulana
The Alley Opening, Miami Beach
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Located within the alleyway of the iconic The Betsy - South Beach, The Alley is a hidden gem serving simple yet delectable Italian fare. After originally closing its doors in 2020, the trattoria-style Italian inspired concept is poised to reenter Miami Beach’s culinary scene on Wednesday, March 27. Helmed by award-winning chef Laurent Tourondel, the restaurant is set to serve an  array of artisanal pizzas, flavorful salads, charcuterie-style specialty cheeses, finely selected cured Italian cold cuts and velvety soft serve ice cream. The Alley is an inviting space, featuring warm woods, floor-to-ceiling windows and eccentric pendant light fixtures that hang from sloped ceilings. Designed to cultivate a welcoming experience for guests, the 1,327 square foot, 66-seat indoor dining room is complemented by organic materials such as bamboo and raffia. The charming outdoor dining area includes seating for 24 patrons to bask in the ever-changing art projections of The Orb, the hotel’s unique egg-shaped canvas.

fulanito
Eunoia Wellness Experience Curated by 444 Studios
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Eunoia, a monthly wellness experience hosted at 444 Studios, will take place this month on Tuesday, March 26th from 7:00-10:00pm. This studio is unlike any other, and their curated experiences are no exception. Your ticket includes a group soundbath with @ompeaceyogi, herbal tonic class/tea bar by @beautifulenigma3, 1:1 tarot reading by @herbdivinevibe, group journaling with @amaliamria, experiential photo booth by @a.b.stills, instrumental live music, drinks, snacks, and a curated gift bag for every guest. Schedule some time for healing and self-discovery and get your tickets before they’re gone, available @444.studios.art.

fulanita
Three Creative Twenty-Somethings Announce Supermarket Gallery and Debut Exhibition, Migración de Jarana by Joan Jimenez
Highbrow

Supermarket Gallery announces its first exhibition, Migración de Jarana, a solo exhibition featuring works by Afro-Peruvian artist Joan Jimenez, embodying Jimenez’s anchors: authenticity, representation, tenacity, and anarchy. Supermarket and Jimenez have decided on a selection of vibrant and celebratory works, warm and natural, emphasizing his identity and how it informs his focus and aesthetics. Opening on March 30th, a reception will be held at 7231 Biscayne Boulevard from 5:00–9:00 PM. This is Jimenez’s first solo show in Miami following his indefinite relocation to the United States in 2023. He’s recently shown at ICPNA (Instituto Cultural Peruano Norteamericano) and at SCOPE in New York.

Founded by Maria Gabriela Di Giammarco, Mario Andres Rodriguez, and Jahi Khalfani, Supermarket Gallery is an experimental worker-owned art gallery in Miami’s vibrant Upper East Side neighborhood, located inside of Fly Boutique’s Fly Studio. Our partnership with Fly Studio maximizes the space and enables us to exist in our current state by integrating the gallery and studio. Our program is thoughtfully intertwined with project bookings and styling appointments to activate a dynamic ecosystem where creativity thrives, boundaries blur, and connections flourish.

fulano loves art
The Collab, a Global Culinary Experience by Chef Nicolas Mazier, to Open in Coral Gables
Highbrow

Imagine your neighbor is a professionally trained chef who has traveled the world, perfecting recipes and finding inspiration from his global experiences who invites you to enjoy a gastronomic adventure, complete with carefully crafted cocktails, cultural immersions, and curated live music. This welcoming, lively atmosphere is what you’ll find while dining at Executive Chef Nicolas Mazier’s new concept, The Collab, inside the THesis Hotel in Coral Gables. Throughout the week, a robust live music program, including a resident vinyl DJ, jazz trios, and more, will set the tone with sophisticated, upbeat vibes, transforming from a lively restaurant to a sultry lounge throughout the evening.

“The Collab is a place where neighbors and friends can gather to enjoy a unique spin on international cuisine with bold flavors and innovative techniques,” shares Chef Nico.

The Collab’s menu features a variety of shareable small plates in three categories: Earth, Land or Sea, including the tender Spanish Octopus, braised then grilled to perfection, accompanied by a hazelnut piquillo emulsion and lime crema, plus craft cocktails including Cosmic Cosmo, which infuses Atian Gin with botanicals and yuzu, complemented by citrus flavors of orange and cranberry.

Call 305.667.6766,  follow on Instagram, @thecollabmiami, & reserve on OpenTable.

- South FL foodie
Á La Folie
Highbrow

This just in. Miami native & photographer @valeria.sartoo is hosting her first ever solo exhibition "À La Folie" at @444.studios.art this Friday from 6 - 9 pm.

Bringing together an upscale community of creatives, you can expect an immersive experience into the romantic world of Sarto's work. Make a night out of it and enjoy live jazz with a local band, natural wine poured by @k__u__z__a and nonalcoholic beverages by @kineuphorics and @perrier.

You won't want to miss it... but if you must, the show will be on view until March 10th, 2024 from 11am - 5pm. See you there!

fulana de arte
New Moon, New You
Unibrow

We have a super new moon in Aquarius today. This is the first time since 1798 that the new moon has been in the same sign as Pluto. What does this mean? Basically we’ve never experienced this before. It’s a clean slate.

Join @RichardBrookens and @Papa_Guru for a yoga and sound bath experience that will prime your nervous system to be able to set new intentions and step into the best version of yourself. Taking place on Tuesday, February 13 at Miami Skin Spa. Doors open at 5. Bring a friend, bring a date, go alone, this is for you- show yourself the love you deserve!

astromami
Goblin on the Loose
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Scrolling through TikTok I stumbled upon a glorious rant with such passion, so many hand movements, and a cadence exclusive to Miami Dade county. I was hooked from beginning to end along with 3 million other people, natives and non natives united. Subject of said rant- sleezeball promoter Suly Papi.

Creator, and queen, Alex Alvarez refers to Vendome (a club I’ve never even heard of) as the embodiment of a cigarette butt. She goes on to describe Suly as someone who “looks like he chews Newports” while telling the story of how he blacklisted her friend for not showing up to the "club" the weekend before. He went on to text her about how disrespectful she was for deciding to not go out. What is it about promoters that think they own the girls they’re getting in? You need them a lot more than they need you, papo.

Let’s just say in the hours following this rant Vendome has restricted comments and Suly Papi himself has gone private. You can run but you can’t hide papi. We know you drive a Honda Civic (but post solely Ferraris on IG) and have 25 criminal offenses. WEIRDO! He’s not even from Miami.

tiktok chismosa
/‘eh-lee-yo͞o/ opening
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The turnout was amazing this past weekend for the brick and mortar opening of Miami native brand, éliou. The accompanying mercado included local vendors such as Peel Soft Serve, Flour and Weirdoughs, Calma Flores, Vital Tonics, and Baking Sunrise. Young Algebra DJ-ed. It was nice to say hi to so many familiar faces and equally as nice to see a lot of unfamiliar ones. Little River seems to be the heart of the current scene with neighbors like La Natural and Moe Studio. It lends itself a lot to community based on location; a tale of two Miamis. If you know you know.

Valeria Sarto
DIY Love Potion
Highbrow

Look for Chris at the Saturday farmer’s market in the Grove. He has this white honey, which tastes spectacular. Ask him for a sample and see for yourself. Anyway you’re going to buy a medium jar of this Liquid Gold honey, it’s expensive but we’re not doing magic with the honey you buy at Publix, sorry. Try to acquire rose buds or lavender and let them dry. Infuse your local honey with these dried florals and tighten the jar as you speak your intentions out loud. Let the honey sit for a couple weeks at room temperature and then begin to consume one spoon a day, either on its own or in tea. Use the time to envision whatever it is you are desiring in love. One thing to be mindful of- that white honey is known to make women extremely fertile. Ojo.

A good witch
Juice Palace Exposed
Highbrow

Take it with a grain of salt if you will, for who am I to ruin your batido de mamey Mondays? I personally only went for fresh fruit, but after hearing the condition of the cooked food, it’s a no from me. Apparently the meat sits in giant garbage barrels lined with plastic and smells like chemicals. It is then served buffet style so I guess if you’re still into buffets in 2023, that’s on you.

fulanito
PSA Y'ALL
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Jungle Johanna is one of Miami’s most influential fitness instructors. This Native New Yorker and OG swim-week sensation is known on social media for her routine PSAs on Instagram Story, which are definitely worth checking out. Maybe we can be more like her, because in her words, “She’s eating good. She’s looking good. She’s drinking tons of water and tons of matcha with coconut milk, not oat milk. She’s waking up in the morning and doing her affirmations. She’s going to alcoholics anonymous. She’s going to therapy, and she’s doing her inner child work. She’s surrounding herself with like-minded people. She is in her bag. She is booked, she is busy. She is living in abundance. She is stepmom of the year.” Followed by: “PSA, stop pretending that you’re woke. You’re not woke. You smoke weed all day. You’re not a witch. You’re not a healer. You’re not clairvoyant. You’re a burnout that doesn’t do anything and hides behind Instagram memes.” Her third pilates teacher training certification course will be taking place this January at Break Free Movement.

I'm a fan
Punk is not Dead
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Buzz has it one of the many Boca Raton boys to wash up in Biscayne Bay, Dr. M,
has secured funding to acquire and reopen legendary punk bar Churchill's.

Fulanita de Tal
Lebanese Coffee Whisperer
Highbrow

Somewhere in Kendall, you make the decision to either hear everything or only the good stuff.   When you make your appointment, don’t even bother giving your name, he’d rather not know. He’s over the drama of clients accusing him of doing his research beforehand. It doesn’t matter; the coffee tells him everything.  He takes weeks to respond and months to schedule, but from what I’ve heard, he’s never missed.

gen z native
Jamon, Jamon (Iberico)
Highbrow

¡Joder tío! Located in Design District’s Mia Market, Bocadoro brings traditional Mediterranean tapas and bites with integrity. All sandwiches are made with Pan de Cristal. If that doesn’t mean anything to you, just know it’s imported from Spain for a reason.

Raul
Sundown
Highbrow

There’s no love story like a Latin love story. In Havana, Cuba 1964, Armando Valle published a compilation of poems called Ocaso. Half a century later and a couple hundred miles north, his grandson Paul uses Café Pilon and onion skins to dye old guayaberas in a new fashion line under the same name. Ocaso is reborn and so is brand chivalry. A dance between structure and softness, romance and masculinity. Fast fashion is out, we’re being courted now. Digital transparency gives us access to the creative process, from the family archives, underground historical influences, works of art, down to the specific Levi ads from the 1920s. It’s personal. It’s the end of something old, a new dawn awaits. 1/1. Coming soon. @ocasolab

native hopeless romantic
Socially Ambitious
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New professions gain traction before traditional establishments have time to catch up. Socially Ambitious, an online course created by two Miami based influencers, has been designed to fill a hole in the social media market: getting that surprising dream job as an influencer’s assistant. Valued at 16.4 billion dollars, this industry is growing and demand is at an all time high. There are thousands of influencers trying to break into the business and in order to maintain the $50,000 monthly salaries that some of these creators are making, they need help. You may not end up with health insurance, but you have a high chance of finding internet fame.

a fellow brother #heybrother
It's Vintage, but Digital
Highbrow

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and the same is true for second hand. Gone are the days of trying clothes on in crowded malls. Miami based luxury vintage shops are thriving on digital platforms, because they’re more intimate than brick and mortar boutiques, more exclusive, and largely based on the taste of the curator rather than lame, widespread trends. Social media has allowed for the owners themselves to be walking mood boards for their brands. These women are sourcing, styling, shooting, and selling; it’s fascinating and fabulous. 8vo Ático, CAPSOOL, and Natus Source are just a few to keep your eye on.

professional thrifty
Upcoming Short Film
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Keep your eye out for Kaila, a local film directed and produced by Miami Natives Angelica Bourland and Andrea Ferro. Miami is home to many exile stories, a theme that punctures past the surface-level legends tourists eat up on South Beach. Kaila follows the story of a young girl who is abruptly moved out of her home in Haiti and sent to Miami to live with her aunt, Marie, whom she has never met before. Having a hard time adjusting to the change, Marie makes an effort to make Kaila feel at home by introducing her to Little Haiti, animated by the same beauty and vibrancy of the place she left. Kaila’s resistance, Marie’s frustration with her: tension builds until they are finally brought together.

your local film freak
III Points
Highbrow

It has been ten years since the first III Points Festival. Feeling old? A decade of pushing the limits of experiencing art, music and technology. The lineup this Fall includes Rosalía, Flume, and our very own Milushka who is constantly redefining what it means to be an artist in the techno space, performing as both a DJ and a singer. We can’t wait to see where she goes next.

tikitikiboomboom
EVOO Plug
Highbrow

You’re only as good as the quality of the olive oil you have in your house. Read that again. So my little sister has a friend whose family has a boutique hotel in Panicale, Italy, where they also create small batches of the best olive oil you’ll ever try in your life. Rastrello Extra Virgin Olive Oil has a bright green color and unmatched flavor profile. This EVOO has my family in such a chokehold we are hoarding bottles of it, prohibition style. I have my personal stash in a giant wooden box with a tap, which was hand delivered to me during my pregnancy. Talk about customer service! They are already sold out for the season, so try your luck in January 2024.

A
Pollo on Pause
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I get to Pollo Tropical and the drive through is closed with a sign that says come inside. I make my way toward the entrance and the woman working is outside smoking a cigarette. She proceeds to tell me “que no hay pollo.” What do you mean there’s no chicken? It felt like the twilight zone. It felt like Cuba. I drove to a second location. At least they’re everywhere.

dazed and confused
Miami's Michelin Mess
Highbrow

Who do you have to sleep with in this city to get a Michelin star? It’s hard to take this city seriously, and this list doesn't make things easier. Make it make sense.

masterchef in the making
The Hottest Yoga Studio in Miami
Highbrow

You’ve probably seen Mimi Yoga all over your Instagram feed because it is quite frankly the most instagrammable exercise venue in the city. The studio has attracted the likes of Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner, multiple NBA players (can’t say who, sorry!), models, top influencers, and Tik Tok stars.

na imastayhere
Brillando Books
Highbrow

Pro tip for the mamas: get your hands on the bilingual children’s workbook(s) of your dreams, created by Miami mom and influencer, Betty Pastelitos. It’s for the kids who grow up hearing and speaking two languages in their households, often interchangeably. She currently offers two bilingual workbooks, as well as a Fast Facts Math workbook and a Sight Words Safari. Best part, they’re all on Amazon. Dale, you’re welcome, we’re in this together.

South Miami Mami
Always Love
Highbrow

I used to call her on the phone so she could sing to me as I paced around my bedroom. We were twelve; this was before Instagram, X-Factor, fame, followers. When we were fifteen  we went to see One Direction in concert and she pointed at the stage, “That’s going to be me one day.” It was. This year Lauren Jauregui released her second solo EP, “IN BETWEEN”, which dives into big “Em(oceans),” pushes them away while casually dating in “All In My Feelings,” and confronts what happens when you’re being told you’re “The One” but you’re being shown otherwise. Her vulnerability and unconditional love has reframed the way we all process past loves. Because where does it all go? When you love like Lauren, it’s always there. It’s always love.

Lex
Throw out Your Multivitamin!!!!
Highbrow

I’m Anna, hormone expert and holistic health coach, and I want to offer you a strategic supplement swap. Most multivitamins are useless at best and harmful at worst. I encourage my clients to be mindful when it comes to what they are supplementing, why they are supplementing, and the quality of the products they are choosing. Let me introduce you to your new starting lineup—beef liver, cod liver oil, vitamin E, vitamin D, and magnesium.


Beef liver is rich in B vitamins, zinc, iron, copper, and vitamin A. Swap the isolated Omega 3s in your pantry for cod liver oil, which you can think of as nature’s Accutane. Vitamin E will get you glowing from the inside out, help to protect you from sun damage, and compensate for the Vitamin E lost when consuming excess seed oils every time you eat out at a restaurant. The best type of Vitamin D to consume is outside your door in Miami, no excuses. Finally, get yourself some magnesium as most people nowadays are deficient due to an inverted mineral ratio of calcium to magnesium in our water. It helps with the chronic stress none of us can escape in this city and aids with sleep.  


Stick around for more soon and check out my Instagram page for direct links to my favorite, trusted brands :)

hot tips and takes with @annamariereilly
Messi Mumblings
Unibrow

They’re sending the kids to Miami Country Day School where they will join Shakira’s sons.

fulanita
Pickleball Games Miami
Unibrow

Pickleball, the love child of tennis and ping pong, has become the fastest growing sport in the country, especially in Florida. The World’s Largest pickleball tournament is coming to the Miami Marine Stadium in 2024. The tournament will take place on January 13th and 14th and will feature novice and professional tournaments, along with music, food, and drinks. But be careful: it’s apparently quite bad for your joints.

active abuela
Blonde Beach Con Artist
Highbrow

When I was 22 years old and running around from casting to casting on Miami beach, my skinny legs were targeted by this blonde witch who was wearing all white. She gave me her card and told me she could feel my energy and if I needed help to contact her. I was freshly graduated and navigating a new world my university did not prepare me for, so I kept talking to her. She must’ve smelled my desperation because she almost convinced me the only way to get rid of a curse that was placed on my mother while she was pregnant with me was to sacrifice $2000. I almost gave it to her. I wish I remembered her name, but I blocked her and repressed it like I did many things that happened to me from that time.

flaca files
Good place to take the parents
Highbrow

El Bagel for breakfast (get there before 11), Macchialina for dinner

@simplykatipoo
Nossa Omakase
Unibrow

This is not your traditional Omakase. The chef dances with you. It has the same secret experience feel as Hiden, but more of a party. Mention that Steph sent you and you will receive a complimentary champagne and caviar tasting!

@lookingforsteph
Vogue Cover
Highbrow

Vogue Brasil shot their August cover with none other than Gisele Bündchen at Riverset Studios. Riverset is an epic photo studio, event space, and prophouse located in the heart of the Miami River District. Say hi to Mara for us…

sirena local
Throwbaque
Unibrow

My favorite genre of Miamian: the boy who forgot his native Spanish but never properly learned English. Does anyone else remember the rowers who didn't have a language?

fulanita
Filmgate X
Highbrow

Filmgate Miami is a local nonprofit that hosts an annual immersive festival merging visual storytelling, entertainment, and technology. Calling for a collective reinvention, Filmgate Interactive is focusing on Regeneration for its 10th Anniversary. This year’s festival will feature over 20 installations, talks, workshops, and more. The Festival will be opening Nov. 29th at the Pérez Art Museum with the DDA and closing Sunday, Dec. 3rd with a sunset cruise on Biscayne Bay. Start organizing your Basel week now!

fulanita
Art in Allapattah
Highbrow

The neighborhood has been host to the Rubell Museum since its move from Wynwood in 2019. Mindy Solomon Gallery also moved into the neighborhood in recent years, and the art world influx has been further solidified by Marquez Art Projects opening up in September of this year, as well as Andrew Reed Gallery and KDR305 soon after. Ukrainian gallery Voloshyn is also rumored to be opening up in the area, meaning that Allapattah will have the greatest density of high-caliber contemporary galleries and foundations in Miami proper. The aforementioned galleries—Mindy Solomon, Andrew Reed, KDR, and Voloshyn—are even all on the same block. Take your date and look sophisticated.

fulano
Vinoteca, Grand Avenue's Wine Library
Highbrow

Every bottle of wine has a story, whether it’s that of the winemaker and their family, or even just the grape variety. This new wine shop, located in the heart of Coconut Grove, is a cozy space inspired by the Italian enoteca, a place where people can gather and find their favorite wines and discover new, unique varieties. Vinoteca currently offers tastings, pop-ups, and private events along with a variety of food items, glasses, and Italian ceramics.

vinolover
Go Barbie
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Alix Earl, our golden transplant, is a UM graduate with over 8 million followers, in case you’ve been living under a rock. She turned GRWM (get ready with me) videos on TikTok into a multi-million dollar career and is now funding scholarships at the Miami Herbert Business School. She has now joined forces with Spotify’s podcast Barbie in being one of the first talents to sign onto Alex Cooper’s Unwell Network. Another win for the year of the blondes.

Alan
Call His Daddy
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There’s a private school dad helping high schoolers get fake IDs from New York. Evolution has spared the next generation an awkward phase, legal requirements, and a fully realized youth experience. Who am I to judge, I had a friend who made them for us at the DMV herself.

fulano

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